10 Lessons from 10 Years of Coaching

Ten years ago I started my coaching career, and I wanted to write something to mark the occasion. I thought I might share some lessons, so here are 10 things that I learned from 10 years of coaching:

1. To be a great coach you must care deeply about people.

Coaching requires changing someone in some fashion, so it fundamentally raises ethical questions:

• What is the right thing to do? How should I go about doing it?

• What is the wrong thing to do? How should I avoiding doing it?

Coaches must ask themselves these questions on a regular basis, and they must continually reflect on their answers before applying them in specific situations. If they do not, they risk mistreating others.

2. The purpose of a coach is to skilfully help another person develop a new capability.

Describing a skill is not coaching. Explaining a skill is not coaching. Performing a skill is not coaching.

In fact, even changing someone's behaviour is not coaching unless that person is capable of applying that behaviour in a new (and relevant) context.

Coaching is helpful action. A coach must study skills, break them down into simple movements, arrange the movements into a progression, and skilfully guide a student through that progression by shaping the environment. If the student does not develop a new capability (or at least a clear view to developing one), then the coach has sadly failed.

3. Mistaken assumptions are obstacles to both coaching and coachability.

If a coach assumes they have ‘authority’ because of their ‘status’, if they assume that their every command must be obeyed ‘immediately’, then it becomes extremely difficult to trust or respect that coach. A coach must earn trust, lead by example, allow leeway, and understand that the way people respond is feedback for better coaching.

If a student assumes they are ‘incapable’ because of some ‘innate’ trait, if they assume something negative about themselves in a fatalistic way, then it becomes extremely difficult to coach that student. A coach must reverse these assumptions: the student is capable if they put in the effort, and negative things that seem permanent, pervasive and personal may actually be temporary, specific and external.

4. Learning is intrinsically motivating.

A coach who tries to motivate by screaming and shouting all the time will ‘motivate’ superficially at best. True motivation for a student comes from learning a new skill. For this reason, coaches should aim to teach better, understanding that intrinsic motivation is a by-product of great teaching.

5. Coaching requires adopting different roles according to the changing needs of students.

It is easy to shout like a drill sergeant and it is easy to say ‘good, well done’ a million times. It is also tempting to give as much information as possible in the space of a single session. However, it is important to judge correctly what role is needed in the moment. To use the wrong approach, at the wrong time, for the wrong person, is to invite either awkwardness, confusion or resentment.

6. Body language is primary, verbal language is secondary.

People respond to their environment and the coach is part of that environment. Hence, the body language, position and angle of the coach is the primary means of effective communication.

Verbal communication is secondary in the sense that without a foundation of body language, verbal communication only creates the illusion of learning, if not total confusion.

Assuming there are no problems with body language, conciseness in speech is key: simply naming body parts and directions can transform poor instruction into effective instruction.

Also, if a student struggles with coordination, the coach should focus their vocabulary on the external environment, and avoid splitting the student’s attention between different parts of the body.

7. Challenge and skill must be balanced.

Beginner students may feel anxious and experienced students may feel bored. The same student may even shift between anxiety and boredom depending on the difficulty of the task. If they are anxious, it is because the task is too challenging. If they are bored, the task is not challenging enough.

To help students experience ‘flow’ or ‘being in the zone’, the coach must skilfully adjust the task to suit the needs of the student.

Similarly, beginner coaches may feel anxious and experienced coaches may feel bored. However, the coach is responsible for creating flow within themselves. They may do this by teaching the basics to beginners more creatively, or by innovating advanced skills for experienced students.

8. The student must eventually act independently of the coach.

If the student relies on cues from the coach, then that student will forget everything they learned as soon as the coach leaves.

While the coach must begin with cues to effectively teach, coaching must end with a student capable of performing independently.

9. The student is also a teacher.

Every student is an individual and responds to tasks individually, and in that regard is an infinite source of wisdom for the coach on how to become a better coach.

10. The most rewarding thing about coaching is making a positive difference to someone’s life.

To coach is to take someone from ‘I can’t do that’ to ‘I can do that’. The reward of being a coach is seeing how this change leads people to do great things in other areas of their lives.

Thank you to all who have given me the opportunity of being their coach. May you all achieve your highest potential, may you all live healthy and happy lives, and may you all do 20 burpees!